was it something that you did?
was it something you said?
was it something you dont know
was this something real? but
was there really something?
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ ; ]]
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Thursday, June 17, 2004; 12:56 p.m. ]]
micah makes me so happy. really. i miss him every single day..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Tuesday, April 27, 2004; 06:52 p.m. ]]
there are a lot of things that i want to share.. it is my first time to fall real hard to a guy.. i thought he was serious.. i thought he loved me also.. but i was wrong.. i lved the wrong guy.. and still i am in love with him eventhough i know he loves another.. life is really unfair..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, January 12, 2004; 11:35 a.m. ]]
maybe i should trying making my own design here for i dont want shabby to get tired of making such nice thingy and i don't even type short entries.. im sorry.. a lot happened.. Yo-han went to the U.S. i nearly fell in love with a guy.. that i found out that he already have a child.. how lucky can i get?? anyway.. i will spill all the beans later.. im in school.. and i have to study though i really feel so sleepy.. and i really think that nobody's reading my entries anymore or might even taking chances in visiting my site.. hehe.. bye.
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, November 10, 2003; 05:26 p.m. ]]
it's been a while... hahahaha!!!! it's been months!!!! hehehe.. i am so into this friendster thing now that i haven't been posting in here for so long.. and still a lot of reasons.. hehe...
im here in school now.. can't use the pc at home coz it's broken that i have to bring it to the technician.. daym... a lot of my oh so personal stuffs are in there.. i wish he'd recover it.. o0r else!!! i'll never use that pc again... i'd be so miserable.. hehe...
im with anne-kaye now.. she said that she wants to have somrthing like this... but i can't offer to make her one.. for i don't know how to make it.. hehe.. i just know how to type and stuff..
anyways.. i'll never be excited after november 24... Yo-han will be leaving for Korea.. and i'll miss him so much... i hope he knows that.. he'll noyt be here on my birthday..*sadness*
i love him..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Saturday, August 16, 2003; 11:01 p.m. ]]
belated happy birthday shabby!!!
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Tuesday, May 27, 2003; 04:49 p.m. ]]
it's been raining a lot lately... just sharing..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, May 5, 2003; 12:31 a.m. ]]
Sorry if i haven't been blogging in ages, i had an operation, i din't know if i already told you guys about that.. and of course i have to rest for a while, not to do this and that so that i wouldn't strain myself too much or else i might get sick again.. And secondly, nothings been happening to me lately, it's summer i know... but when you're stuck with a mom who is a workaholic... nah... forget it!!! hehe... i don't know, but i think she have plans for us (my aunts and my cousins.. i wish it will be fun, and i wish that the place would be nice and a haven of relaxation... hahaha... Still, the best cure for me is just a warm hug from a special person...
I really don't know if there's anyone who is reading these bloggie entries, if there are... *mwuah* and i want to ask you guys something.. like, What's the best way to lose weight? hehe... Eversince i was in third year high school i got chubby and all...
Oh, did i say i failed one subject last term? and i'm sooo depressed... actually, the zoology laboratory was harder than the lecture, but howcome i failed the lec and got 2.5 (highest is 4.0) in lab? damn... now my mind's wasted coz i have to do a lot of adjustments for the coming term... and i am still not sure if my schedule's okay... anyway, i have to go now... til the next time... bye!
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, April 14, 2003; 08:03 p.m. ]]
hardest things to do..
1. Flashing your smile to someone u don't want to see.
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget.
3. Showing that u care. `-^
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. Learning that you've been used by someone u truly love.
6. Saying "I love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love.
8. Realizing that u love somebody you've just taken for granted.
9. Realizing that u love the person you've just broken up with
10. Waiting for promises you know she or he'll never keep.
11. Saying your love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. Reminiscing the good times u shared together.
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
14. Trying to hide what u really feel.
15. Having a commitment w/ someone that u know would not last.
16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
`-^
17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else.
18. Loving a person too much.
19. Giving up someone u never thought of giving up.
20. Falling in love for the first time
21. Loving someone you haven't seen
22. Having the right love at the wrong time. and the wrong person
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
24. Not being appreciated when u know you've given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. "Hiding your relationship from someone else."
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. Choosing between 2 persons whom u really love..
29. Finding out that u can never have the person u just let go of
30. Seeing the person u love with someone else.
31. Learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much
never really cared
32. Seeing the one you love fall for someone else.
33. Falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be
the same again
34. Learning to trust after you have been burned.
35. Accepting that it was NOT MEANT TO BE
36. Smiling when all you want to do is cry.
37. Falling and knowing that it can never be
38. Not being able to love the person who truly cares for you
39. Saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you
40. Hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him
41. Saying that you are over someone you still love..
42. BEING FRIENDS AGAIN AND LEARNING TO LET GO OF EACH OTHER BECAUSE YOU BOTH KNOW IT IS THE BETTER WAY
43. Convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that
you are
44. Having to let go because you know that he deserves someone else
45. Trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be
Somr things are just so sad that they have to be kept just inside our hearts. Not wanting others to remove it, for in those pains and trials, you found HAPPINESS...
I FOUND HAPPINESS... that's why, i will never forget you.
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Friday, April 4, 2003; 02:27 a.m. ]]
i can't sleep, because i've been studying for God knows how long... I hate the fact that i have 2 exams tomorrow... ZOOLOGY LECTURE AND ZOOLOGY LAB. i hate it. because i have to study the same phylum twice but with different Class and orders. damn.
Why is it that Mail.com download sso slow? Is it my connection? whateverz...
Lets see... Echinodermata (check)good thing this Phylum don't have lots of genus and blah... hehe... Arthropoda (waaaaah) i'm not yet done with this one... Shit. I'm going to fail... "Burigs!!!! Study!!!!"
I hate the last phylum... of invertebrates... Because they are so many genus and orders... blah! the phylum which has the insects and the arachnids... cheh! Guess what's the Genus for Cockroach? *HWATING!!!!!* ----->Blatta... heheh... i hate sea urchins too... they all look alike but they have different names.... dang... Echinotrix, Echinmetrix, Salmacis, Tripneustes... shit...
But i like the feeling though.. of memorizing them all and know all the answers when i take the exam... what a good feeling... hehe... kinda fulfilling... like SOMETHING happened...
Ohhh... i sent Shabby the Quiz thingy... and she Got 90/100... whoa!:) She sent me one and i got 80/100 not that bad... don't you think? well at first i told myself that i should get a perfect score, but man i don't know some of them... hehe maybe next time i'll get those tough ones...
Good night people... (i'm not going to sleep yet.. hehe... wish me luck!)
and oh, the only thing Shabby didn't get on my quiz is the answer for my crush's full name... hehe "KIM YO-HAN CHUNG" hehe... anyways... this is it.! babay!
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Sunday, March 30, 2003; 11:12 p.m. ]]
hello... i might as well everytime i have time because Shabby might remove this...
Anyways, my week went fine, i had quizzes... well i'll be having loads of them in the next two weeks.. it near finals... and i am so afraid to fail. i really don't want to fail, you know. So i am studying and giving my best everyday that i even have no time to go out or relax... but sometimes, when i have time to relax and have a nap, it is always misunderstood.
Don't you still know by now that i only get to sleep well whenever i am with you? whenever i am near you? you cure my illness... you cure everything just by being there. But you don't hug me anymore.. what can i do, i am just nothing to you anymore..
Good thing I passed one of my exam last week, its my exam fo Invertebrate Zoology... i am happy i passed the second and third exam... i'll pass because i'll study for the fourth one... hehe... Right now i am worrying about my Invertebrate Zoology Lecture, i haven't passed any test yet.. i should do good on the third test and on the finals.. Gotta drink RED BULL again.. hehe Last week i drank 3 bottles so that i could study for my quiz and guess what! i was so wide awake that i didn't get to sleep.. hehe... i was studying the whole night! :)
Don't you think it's kind of REWARDING when you study hard and you get high grades? rather than copying and doing some KODIGO.. haha...
i have to go now... i have to study for my subjects tomorrow... bye!!!!
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, March 24, 2003; 08:01 p.m. ]]
i really don't know what to say... but i feel a lot "alone" today... well not just today... i felt like i'm just nothing to shabby anymore... am i? i really don't get her... i really don't know what she feels... o my god... i promise to blog more... PROMISE. so that i could say what i feel for the day...
btw, i went to shabby's house this afternoon, i just slept there and stuff, she didn't want to hug me, because she told me that it's hot... i understand but When was the last time you hugged me back?! :(
anyway, i saw YO-HAN today, and boy... his hair was so cool... like the fly away tienes at the sides... i don't know... i didn't see him like face to face but ANNE-KAYE did... (my friend in La Salle) she told me that it was a bit curly... hahaha... but he sure looks delicious... hehe yummy korean boy... haha
bye peeps....til next time...
shabby: please answer me... bo goh si puh! :)
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Friday, February 7, 2003; 09:50 p.m. ]]
Is it possible to fall for someone you just met?
Is it possible to fall for someone who do not know you well?
Is it possible to fall for someone who doesn't know you?
I am Damn Confused right now.
Jisoo's been my friend for not so long... a sweet guy... touchy... kind... really sweet... and so caring...Korean boy. .so we started chatting and hanging out during breaks and dismissals.. in those times i got to know him more. I really love talking to him, because if you do, you'll realize that there are still a lot of things to learn.. God, he knows a lot of things.. really, i mean a lot. he's so talkative.. and he's so cute when he speaks in Tagalog... like "galit?" translation... "are you mad?" with the cute sweet voice.. you'll melt for him... but the only wrong thing is... he has a girlfriend.. and he likes girls.. damn much!
if you just met him... you'll say he's a flirt, in which all guys are... maybe.. but when you get to know him.. it's just him. His true self. He told me once that eversince he is so true to himself and to others as well. if he feels something very "secret" he'll say it. he doesn't believe in white lies. whatever. brb
my GoD! i was just confused!
i don't like him anymore...
The guy I really like is YO-HAN... damn...
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Friday, January 31, 2003; 11:56 p.m. ]]
I met u just like dat...
You made me smile just like that ...
You made me cry just like that...
So DONT expect me to let go of you...
Just like that..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Friday, January 31, 2003; 10:36 p.m. ]]
From the Heart Heartbreaker Broke
You can only miss a person so much. I think my time's over. Dawn breaks; Its time for the moon to return to its proper place and let the sun shine once again in your life.
I choose to love you in silence... For in silence I recieve no rejection Nor should I bother of what it is that prevents us from being together - its just that we can never be together.
I choose to love you in loneliness... For in loneliness, no one owns you but I.
I choose to adore you from a distance... For distance will shield us from pain.
Still, I love you and I just can't help but do so... I choose to kiss you in the wind For the wind is gentler than my lips
I choose to hold you in my dreams... For in my dreams, you have no end.
Forever.
That is what you are to me. In all honesty, I find it hard to believe that I will ever love somebody the same way I loved you. Thanks for the experience, I loved it while it lasted. I can't help but smile during those times that you threw me out of focus - those times that you made me panic as to what I could do just to appease your tumultuous heart.
Thanks for those times that you almost destroyed my sanity. I always knew it was done for anyway.
Thanks for all the times you smiled back, made those funny faces, commented on things, and wasted your free text messages on me.
Thanks for all the phone calls, all the emails, and all the small things that you did. Without them, I may have not even been sure that I really loved you.
And most of all, thanks for being honest. Thank you for putting me back on track. You would be a constant reminder for me not to love anyone more than my God.
Maybe you were right: Love is an attachment... to someone who'll never be yours.
ve is something we will never have... something we'll never experience nd I really meant my reply. The sun maybe up, but the moon does not vanish. It may wane, yes, it may even seem to fade. But one thing is certain.
It remains in its sky...
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Saturday, January 25, 2003; 05:29 a.m. ]]
i think you are really desperate and you just won't tell me. if you have a problem, then why not talk to me? why would you still want to talk to pebbles and korky this time, and i'm the one whos in front of you and asking you to tell me what you're problem is. am i a bad advice giver? don't i have that much power for you? do you that i am not good enough to even lessen what you feel inside? i am your bestfriend, now that i am doing things to help you yet you get mad for me being so demanding. if you have a problem, better say it than keep it for so long because upon doing that, your problem might get bigger and there is a less chance of you forgetting and facing it. I feel like i am incapable of making you feel better, so much of your bestfriend. Did you really want me to be one? or you just pity me before that you asked me to be one? i want to have this worth.. i want to feel that you are worthy of me. all i did was obey you and still all i did was wrong. i feel like i never did anything right. it is always so wrong. you can't blame me for wanting to help you in everything you do. i love you, and you are still my friend. but why won't you cooperate? and you tell me that i don't listen to you? you don't listen to me either. i really don't know where i stand now to you. i really don't know what is my worth, what is my importance. Irish is your girlfriend, and you don't care about her at all. what more to me? i am just your friend? what did i ever do for you to treat me this way? do you want me to leave you? just tell me and i'll let you go away. i realized we never said goodbye to each other when we broke up and i am forcing myself to believe that, that day will soon come because you don't need me anymore. i can be your slave forever, but i won't promise not to go, i don't kow what is in you mind anymore and i cant even see what you feel anymore. All i wanted was to help and not wanting elsemore. if you are happy and do in love with him, then go. i judt dont want you to be with me and sad. i wnat to see you happy then time will come you'll see me happy too. all i wanted was to show you how much i care and how much i wanted to help you. i really don't know if everytime i try to talk to you, if my timing is wrong. you are always in a bad mood. and i am so lucky to be getting all the effects, it is better than you let others feel that. i have always wanted you back with me, but i respect your decision that you don't want us to be. i guess i wont have to say anything, because i know from inside and out you know how much i love you and how much i have given up for you. goodbye is really a sad word to say. it is a really hard word to say. it is so hard for you to get back with her again but i told myself that it's okay... you are happy anyway. and i cn't give u that much happiness so let it be. what ever you want, who ever you like, just go for it. maybe in them one day you'll see the love that you are meant to be. i just wish one day you'll realize my worth and everything i have done for you. just for one reason, because i really love you.
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Friday, January 24, 2003; 09:24 a.m. ]]
hey... im here in school... i still don't have class yet in the next 30 mins. so i decided to come here in the cyber and post.
i really have this thing now for SANG HYUK! GOD! he's so cute! handsome! waaaaah! i'm starting to fall... nyek! hehe... i love TONY and SANG HYUK as well.. hehe... i wish i could watch the MTV ASIA awards in Singapore so that i could see my DArling Tony.. wehehe... anyway, addiction to them satisfies me anyway... not like before that i am always so depressed...
i get depressed to.. because i know that it is so near to impossibility that i'll have the chance to see them in person and have this luck to converse with them... hehe... im desperate now... wehehe... okies.. got to go... i'll try to post later.!
SARANG HAE YO SANG HYUK
SARANG HAE YO ToNY AHN
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, January 6, 2003; 11:35 a.m. ]]
Name: Tony An (Ahn Seung Ho,)
Nicknames: Monkey Boy,(Sun Oh Gong) a cartoon monkey, Bae Choo, Noodle
Birthday: June 7, 1978
Zodiac: Gemini
Birth Place: Seoul
Weight: 56 kg (132 lbs.)
Height: 175 cm (5 ft. 9 in.)
Shoe size: 320 mm
Waist size: 28 in.
Blood Type: O
School: Dong Guk University Drama 4th year? (same as Kang Ta)
Family: divorced parents, 1 older sister, youngest
Hobbies: basketball, driving, video games, reading comic books
Talents: acting like a monkey
Motto: Let's not do anything that we will regret and live enthusiastically.
Role in H.O.T.: English rapper, sub vocals
Number in H.O.T.: 7
Favorite color: red, black, white
IQ: never took the test
Goals: To be Korea's best singer.
Religion: Christian
Pets: none
Personality: ???
Complex: forehead
Habits: ???
Values: his belongings, people he knows, present from his fans
Respects: ???
Instruments: guitar
To relieve stress: hits Hee Jun and hits himself repeatedly
Favorite foods: DdukBokgi, Ohdeng goongmool
Least favorite foods: ???
Favorite fruit: oranges
Favorite flower: rose
Favorite subjects: photography
Least favorite subjects: everything but photography
Favorite music genre: gangster, hip hop, rap
Favorite actor: ???
Ideal girl: A nice woman, talkative, cheerful, big eyes
What he would do if he had a girlfriend: ???
Favorite style of clothing: anything
Favorite season: fall
Saddest memory: ???
How he joined H.O.T.: auditioned in LA
Favorite perfume/cologne: Hugo Boss, Escape
Favorite musicians: Seo Taji and Boys, Solid
Favorite songs: "Guh Dae ga ee sae sang eh eet nun gut mahn uh ro"
Favorite sports: basketball
Sarang Hae Yo Ahn Seoung Ho!!!!
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, December 30, 2002; 11:03 p.m. ]]
whats up? sorry to be blogging just now.. i was really busy this past few days... and i feeling so lonely... a lot of things happened this month that made me so weak and helpless...
lets start off with my unstable heart. i was so sad and depressed to hear that shabby got back with irish (her ex which she left for me and now they're together again) she told me that she doesn't love her, but why waste time? right? from my opinion, i think that she really love that girl so much that she kept on going back to her. ~lucky girl... anyways, it really hurt me a lot, even though we are noy "us" anymore. she told me that "history repeats itself" at first i really don't believe it... but when that incident came, i started to think that she's right. I have nothing against Shabby, for i know that i don't have the right anymore it's just that she should at least for once decide for herself, sometimes it's better to lie than to give in and suffer. but i can see that she's good. really good. so i think, her relationship with Irish helped her to be what she is now. i just wish that Shabby don't love her, i know you already told me a lot of times that you don't, but i really don't understand why you jumped into that situation if you don't. There's still the chance to say NO and to decide for yourself. but you didn't. I just wish you happiness.
I failed my INOCHE1 again! And i'll be taking it "three-peat" i will repeat it again... :( i wish my grades will be better next time... i am really studying hard, but my best was not good enough.. i don't want to spend my whole college life repeating my subjects, i want to experience such happiness deep with in, and i can only attain that by studying and by giving more time and attention to my studies. i am but sometimes i just can't focus, all i can feel is those butterflies in my tummy and i really feel nervous when i hear "something bad for my heart and head" I just can't seem to focus well.. i'm not saying that it is the only reason, it could be one..
And also, i failed my COMSCI1, a computer class... *fuck* i can't believe it... i suck at computers.. so i will repeat it... hoping a better year ahead, not just for me but for others as well..
Shabby, was here yesterday up to today's late afternoon. She was here for a sleep-over, i really miss sleeping beside her... that i was half sleeping the whole time checking on her because she was coughing, and the airconditioner was on, so i was hugging her and tapping her back at the same time... i would do anything just to hug her again like that... good thing she was asleep that she didn't notice i was awake and checking on her..
i would do anything just to be with her again, too bad there's nothing i could do..
oh, belated Merry Christmas to you all!!!! and a Happy New Year!!!!! i wish us all a good and a perfect and safe and lucky... etc... Year ahead!!!
NOTE:guess what day my birthday is this coming january... email me... and be a friend!!! hehe :)
bye!!! don't worry, im okay now... what i told here above, was a bit forgotten and accepted, i just wanted to share how i felt and what i say...
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Monday, December 16, 2002; 10:38 a.m. ]]
i'm still sick, but i'm trying my best to study for i have an examination tomorrow for my chemistry lecture.. i don't want to repeat it again..
Last Saturday around 3 or 4 pm i was feeling dizzy already and i ended up pikung all night.. i really don't know what's the problem with my stomach.. i will go again to the doctor after all my school etc..
I wasn't able to go to Jhan's party at Phoebe's house because of many reasons...
1)nobody will fetch me there.
2)i got sick and i don't want to just puke and puke there.
3)Shabby's not coming for some reasons..
4)it's just that i can't anymore
it's just that sometimes we people are just not lucky..
I wonder why Shabby text me less... but it's okay, i think by that i can give her, freedom. I don't have the right to hold or not give her that for it's hers.
Thanks for the layout.. i really like it.. Ü see you soon... take care..
just killin' time...BURIGS
[[ Sunday, December 15, 2002; 12:39 a.m. ]]
Hi Burigs! This is just a test post. ^____________^ So, how do you like your layout? I know it's not really good, but I tried my best. Sorry for the long delay. ^____^
As promised, a big space for all your blog needs. *lol* I'll be updating those links at the right side. I don't know what to place, so please let me know asap. Enjoy bloggin'!
(Ignore the name below...this is me, SHABBY.) XD
just killin' time...BURIGS